Finding the Grey

.“…the gray areas are where you find the complexity, it’s where you find the humanity and it’s where you find the truth.”” ~ Jon Ronson, Journalist

Finding the Grey

As a Human Resources Consultant I wrote a lot of Policy and Procedure documents. While not the most enjoyable part of my work, it was important work. I would pour over all relevant employment-related legislation, deepen my understanding of the organization’s values, culture and priorities. I would survey or interview key stakeholders and collect information from employees to appreciate their experiences, perspectives and ideas. When writing the policies the goal was to respect all legislations, to align with organizational priorities and to weigh the various perspectives and voices prior to landing on specific policy statements. Once released there were inevitably one or two employees who would struggle to get on board with, or even resist the policy decision. These employees would get stuck because their unique perspective were not directly reflected in the policy. They were unable to see or consider other perspectives. They were convinced that their opinion was right, and others were wrong.

There is a sea of grey in between the black and white.

We need to recognize that it isn’t about right and wrong, good or bad, black or white. We need to appreciate that there is a sea of grey in between the black and white of any decision or argument. Sometimes we need to accept, agree and move on, recognizing that decisions are not all customized to satisfy me. When we consider that there are contrasting ideas and concepts at play, and that all are valid, we can start to accept and get on board with decisions that are made.

When we experience conflict, and disagree with another person, again we can be drawn into the “I’m right and you are wrong” way of thinking, as if there are only 2 options! But if we remember the grey we can become curious and perhaps a bit more patient in considering the ideas and views of others. Approaching conflict with a sense of curiosity will allow for a healthy exchange and ultimately a better resolution. It also preserves relationships and contributes to healthy teams.

Look for the grey

I find it useful to always remind myself to “look for the grey”. In any situation where I find myself in disagreement with another individual, or with an institution, I try to consider the various perspectives. Just like the workers who read the policies I wrote, I need to remember that I don’t have all the information, and may not appreciate the full context of the situation.

Sometimes bad decisions are made, some policies are ill-informed, but I think it is fair to say that for the most part, the people tasked with writing policies and making decisions are basing them on information outside of my view, with the best of intention.

Maybe our world is much less about the black and white, your way and my way, the extremes… maybe our world is much more about the grey, the beautiful grey.